Friday, March 31, 2006

Singin' the Blues

A little sad today. A very good friend is having marital troubles and I feel so bad for her.

I'm being a good listener but I wish there was more I could do. I'm pushing hard for her to go to counseling before walking away, but I'm not sure she will. Or worse, she'll stay but not get things fixed and then they'll end up living separate lives. I watched my brother and his ex-wife do that for years and it was horrible, painful and not at all helpful to their son. My friend does not have kids.

It certainly makes me very, very grateful for my wonderful husband. Our relationship is rock solid but that doesn't mean perfect. I really believe relationships involve compromise and making sure you consider the other person's feelings. Sometimes easier said than done but at other times, effortless.

What do you think makes a good, strong relationship? I think communication is really key, and making sure you understand what each other is saying they need.

P.S. Did anyone see celebrity gossip columnist Cindy Somebody on Tony Danza's talk show this a.m. with her crazy dogs? Yes, Tony Danza has a talk show, but don't worry, it's apparently just been cancelled. The man cannot string words together to form sentences.

Anyway, Cindy and her poochies Jazzy Jr. and Juicy were on the show and let me first say I am a dog lover - I have one and I adore most dogs. It's really her I have the problem with, and all people really, who treat their dogs like spoiled children instead of pets. Sure, I spoil Sampson on occasion with too many treats, but I don't let him take the car when I need it. Whaaaaaaaat? Apparently her dogs had a play date with Judge Judy's shit zhous (sp?) so she had her driver drive them over while she suffered in a cab to her engagment. She's seriously loony tunes. Jazzy Jr. peed on Judge Judy's fireplace so he won't be invited back for another play date. I wonder when they'll start making her sit in the time out chair.


Blogger Virenda said...

First I'm sorry your friend is going through marital problems. It's always tough because your life forever changes after that. My uncle is going through a similar thing and it kills me because I wish I could make the pain go away.

Second, I can't even comprehend people like that. I LOVE animals and enjoy being around them, but guess what? THEY ARE ANIMALS, not people. They don't care what kind of car takes them to a play date with some "famous" persons dog. They want to be loved and have affection and play. ~sigh~ People like that love their dogs because dogs are honest and everyone around them isn't. That and their crazy. ~grin~

3/31/2006 4:00 PM  
Blogger Kimmy said...

I am so sorry about your friend and her marital problems. I'm glad you're encouraging counciling. It's "easy" to walk away, but it takes great strength and courage to work things out. I pray things work out. You are a wonderful friend!

Tony Danza... yeah. That's a bit freaky! I mean. I loved "Who's The Boss" but that was 20+ years ago ;)

The Shih Tzu lady is plum outta her mind. A car for the dogs to attend a play date. Wha? Ain't no way I'd be sittin' in a germy cab while the dogs got a nice car. Huh uh!

I spoil Doodlebug/Snickerdoodle/Doodle (:p) by loving on her and playing with her and letting her sleep on my new couch (:p) but not by giving her more than I have materialistically! I don't get crazy people like that.

3/31/2006 4:09 PM  
Blogger EmilyRoseJewel said...

I'm sorry for your friend. Two friends of ours, actually in our Sunday School class, got divorced after two years and the husband actually told his wife on their two year anniversary. It is sooo sad that so many marriages end in divorce. Communication is definitely important. Being willing to talk things out and continually working on making the marriage better is so important. Ron and I are open and honest and that is so important.

3/31/2006 5:31 PM  
Blogger WendyWings said...

I hope your friend and her husband realise they should work through the issues and not just push it under the rug.

As for the dog lady I can not STAND people who treat their animals this way it makes me nuts, I know a poodle lady who is just like this and made us all suffer through endless pictures of her dog dressed up in cute outfits and talked about his playdates etc. UGH

3/31/2006 5:52 PM  
Anonymous robin said...

I"m sorry for your friend...I had to watch my boyfriend go thru an AWFUL divorce and an even more painful custody battle (still can't see his own daughter). It's such a hard thing to go through, especially when it's not mutual.

I think communication is the biggest part to a successful relationship...the relationship I've seen that are not so healthy are the ones that can't seem to communicate.

3/31/2006 7:20 PM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

Communication is key...and laughter. If you can laugh at yourself, it helps you keep in all in perspective.

4/01/2006 7:03 PM  
Blogger Writer Mom said...

Wow. I had a similar post yesterday. Sort of. I was giving props to my hubby at least.
We communicate. We always have.
Friends who have gone through troubles with their relationships, it makes me paranoid. Do we not really communicate as well as I think we do? But I'm pretty sure we do.
And we laugh a lot.
We appreciate the friendship always underneath.

Now, what the scallop is the deal with this lady and her dogs???
Poor dogs. I imagine they're incredibly depressed with this primped up life. I've got two--both inherited from people who couldn't deal with high energy pooches.
Yesterday, some people were walking their Jack Russell. Looked like a magazine dog. Gorgeous. Super thin. Clean and shiny. Mine was halfway down a groundhog hole, covered in dirt. They stopped to watch this. Odd. Like watching a 'primitive dog' exhibit, or something.
"Isn't that funny how dogs used to dig like that?"
I could tell their dog was sad about not being allowed to get dirty. When it comes to nature versus nurture with dogs, I lean towards nature. Probably cruel, I know, but there it is.

4/01/2006 9:46 PM  
Blogger kdubs said...

Ohhhh I'm so sorry sweet girl. I've been on the other side and you are helping by being you. Be there for her no matter what because when the bottom drops out, she'll know you're there.

Hugs to you and her.

4/02/2006 8:58 PM  
Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

Sorry to hear about your friend... Those things happen...
What makes a good relationship? Communication and the ability to laugh.

Doggy stuff - those people are weird... I had 2 labradors and they never ever took the car... They didn't have playdates and they did fart under the dining room table... dogs are dogs - not people.
PS My MM is up

4/03/2006 8:31 AM  
Anonymous dog lover group said...

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4/21/2006 10:02 AM  

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