Sunday, June 11, 2006

Watch Out for Humping Chihauhuas

"I found a painter on the internet and I'm afraid to be alone with him. Can you come stay with me?"

So says friend Kira, eater of McDonald's Fat Kids' Meals, last week.

"Sure", I say, "better we both get killed than just you."

"Road trip!" I yell to the dog, load up the car and drive 2 hours south. When I see the painter, I can understand why she'd be a little nervous; he's tall, bald and covered in tattoos. Although he and his crew of tattooed, rough-looking dudes appear scary, they turn out to be very nice guys. Happily, neither of us is killed.

At noon, we decide to try a new martini (the Black Tie) recipe. Since we don't want to appear like alcoholics, we attempt to covertly mix drinks in her tiny laundry room with the door closed. Apparently the sound of the ice in the beverage shaker along with lots of giggling gives us away. But the painters nicely pretend we're not silly and tell us to enjoy.

After three tries we decide we finally have the recipe correct and retreat to her screened in porch to gab and imbibe. That's when her 6 lb. chihauhua decides to begin humping my 90 lb. yellow lab Sampson. Wha?? Sampson is so easy going he just sits there, looking over his shoulder at the tiny attachment on his backside. "For the love of dog!", I yell, "Do something to make him stop."

Ah, good times. Good times.

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