Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Ogre in the Mailbox

These days, I'm a skippin' skip skip to my Lou my darlin' all the way to the mailbox. Wait, don't those lyrics say something like "Lost my partner, I'll get another one prettier than you"? Hmm, isn't that supposed to be a nursery rhyme? No wonder little girls grow up with self-esteem issues.

Anyway, I'm saying I like to go to the mailbox these days because of the plethora of Christmas catalogs. Such entertainment! "Hard to Find Tools" nestles in my box with "Crap You Would Never Buy Except at Christmas"! Because you know, now IS the time to buy Aunt Betty those plug in socks to keep her tootsies warm.

Yesterday I was very distressed to find something not so nice in my mailbox. No, no the neighbor kid didn't put dog poo in there again. At least I hope it was dog poo...But there was an invite to a Pampered Chef party. Wha? I just went to one in my neighborhood 3 weeks ago!!

We live in a new neighborhood where there are only about 25 homes built so far. Everyone except for two neighbors are from out-of-state. Meaning, the same people that were invited to the first PC party are now being invited to the second mere weeks later. Gah, the idiocy!

I went to the first party more for the opportunity to meet new neighbors than to spend too much money on crapola I could buy cheaper at Target or Marshall's. Or Walmart, or JcPenney, or fucking anywhere else.

My point (yeah, yeah I'm getting there, relax!) is that it's very rude and in bad taste to have another party so soon - what is that asshat thinking? I guess I'm not surprised, she is from WI afterall. Kidding! But, I knew she and I would never be friends the first time I met her and she told me they left their lab in WI because she didn't want him to ruin her new hardwood floors. She's lucky I didn't bitch slap her. Now, I've just been waiting until I see her leave and then letting Sampson in her house to run around and scratch up her precious floors.

I'll just decline the invite but then I have to go out or keep all my lights off since she lives right behind me. Curses, beyatch has no manners.


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