Monday, January 22, 2007

Buzzard Killing Squirrel Electrifryer Turns 78

So on Sunday we went to my inlaws to celebrate my father-in-law's 78th birthday. My fil actually cracks me up - he's a very intimidating ex-military guy when you first meet him. Lied about his age and went to fight in WWII when he was 15; survived the Battle of the Bulge. Hates the Red Cross to this day because they made the soldiers pay for cigarettes during the war instead of giving them out for free. He has some kind of hush hush connection to the CIA but won't talk about it. My mother-in-law said she had CIA people following her around at one point. Maybe - could have been her psycho imagination but that's another story.

My fil has been retired too long and has way too much time on his hands. He's already electrified the pole to the bird feeder to sizzle any squirrels that dare try to climb it. Now he's taken to shooting his 22-gauge shotgun at some buzzards that have taken up residence in their neighborhood. Seriously. He's shooting a gun in a suburban neighborhood surrounded by homes. Yep.

Last week my mil is in their kitchen and hears a gunshot. She goes running to the family room to find her husband lying on the floor with a shotgun. She thinks he somehow shot himself or had another heart attack. Nope, he was just lying on the floor to get a better shot at the buzzards through the door (open at the time) to the deck. Got two of them.

My husband says, "Dad, you can't shoot your gun in the neighborhood. You could kill someone." Dad says, "Naw, the bullet will travel far enough to land over in the black neighborhood. They're always shooting at each other anyway." I kid you not.

This from the man who says the best lesson he's learned all year is to not overload the muzzle of his shotgun with too much gunpowder. He blew himself off the bucket he was sitting on in the back of his pickup truck when he was deer hunting earlier this year. Apparently, he purposely put extra gunpowder in the shotgun so he could take a longer a shot since he can't walk into the woods as far anymore. The recoil projected him off his bucket and out of the bed of the truck where he landed flat on his back beside it. He was OK and yes, he got the deer he shot at.


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