I Owe You
Oh, just one little quick aside about the cats (because I still haven't had my daily 6 cups of Joe. Hmm, that should probably be a lowercase "J," but let's pretend I know some hot guy named Joe and I'm going to have him.) I actually caught one of the cats - the fattest one (review: 19 lbs.) - trying to chew a hole in the dog food bag before I got up to the third floor to feed him. He was determined to eat whether or not I fed him. Yep, these cats are 100% batshit.
So get this - Sick subway passengers in New York, most of them dieters who faint from dizziness, are among the top causes of train delays, according to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority.
"Not eating for three or four days, you are going to go down," a transit emergency medical technician said. OK, so who knew there were even transit EMTs? And I just love his quote, "...you are going to go down." mwahahahaha
Apparently, an average of 395 delays each month are caused by sick customers. 395 a month?? Holy Skinny Cows, Batman, shove a milkshake in the hand of each chick stick who gets on looking a little pale and pinched! Maybe they should have Mr. Transit EMT (I wonder if his name is Joe?) go from car to car with a packages of Oreos strapped to his body.
I am declaring today "Wesley Autrey Day" in honor of this amazing, selfless man that almost died saving another man who had a seizure and fell onto the subway tracks in the path of an oncoming train. Sounds like a Will Smith movie, eh?
Wesley is a 50-year-old father of two who, with no consideration for his own safety, immediately jumped onto the subway tracks to help 20-year-old Cameron Hollopeter who he had just seen fall.
As he tried to pull the man to safety, he looked up and saw a train heading towards them. He grabbed Cameron and managed to pull him into a shallow trough where they lay as five cars rolled overhead. The trains were so close to his head that Wesley actually had grease on his knit cap.
Cameron was taken to the hospital where it was found he had suffered a seizure, but he walked away from his fall with only bumps and bruises. Wesley refused any medical treatment saying he wasn't hurt. He then dropped off his two young daughters who he had been standing on the platform with and went on to work his night shift.
"I don't feel like I did something spectacular; I just saw someone who needed help," Wesley said. "I did what I felt was right."