Saturday, January 06, 2007

Where Do I Get One of Those Bras

Remember when I mentioned, ah perhaps somewhat facetiously, that my city has just said "no" to the shooting of guns to celebrate New Year's Eve? Granted, a good 50 years too late, but whatever, Redneckmond is back on track now!

Well, today I read a story that informed me if I just wear the correct bra, I don't have to worry about those pesky bullets. See, Debbie Bingham was wearing her favorite gold-colored bra to ring in the New Year in St. Petersburg, FL. and it stopped a bullet. No lie. Would I lie to you?

See, they have a few rednecks in that area, too, that think its good 'ol plain fun to shoot guns in the air - New Year's Eve, cousin twice removed now married to your sister, got a new a truck, etc., you know, special occasions and the like.

Anyway, Debbie was minding her own business, just watching the fireworks, when she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder. One of her daughter's noticed blood on her shirt and started yelling that her mom had been shot. Hmm, yes, that would be my first thought, too.

At the hospital they found that the bullet had pierced her bra strap, and said strap had prevented more serious damage. She only required 5 stitches.

"It was a very cheap bra," Debbie said. "It wasn't very expensive, and I'd love to have a couple more of those bras," she told a local TV station. Well dang, Debbie, so would I! I could make millions marketing them as "Bullet Stoppers" in areas where the country cousins hang out.

The story also noted that shooting a weapon inside the city limits is a misdemeanor with a maximum fine of $1,000 and up to one year in jail. I'm presuming that if you maim or kill someone the penalty might be slightly stiffer. But, I'm not betting it on it.

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