Wednesday, February 14, 2007

If I Had a Million Dollars

Happy lurrrrrrrrrrve Day to ya. If you've no one to lurve, just fantasize. I'll start you off: George Clooney, Matthew McConaughey, Donald Trump--oh wait, sorry, wrong list. He's on my Big Pricks with Little Dicks list.

If you're feeling a little blue, a little woe-is-me, a little off your game, get over it. This poor sap in NY won $1 million in the state lottery 5 weeks after being diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. Sure, dude has a year to live large on all that money you think, hey, not a bad way to go. Except for a few minor details.

He wants to get various medical treatments that will prolong his life, but the hospital is requiring major up front cash and the lottery doesn't pay the winnings in a lump sum. You know--various rules and regs prevent that. He just received his first check which is $34,000 after taxes. Not nearly enough for the $125,000 up front moolah plus $250,000 in reserves for the hospital.

Guess it doesn't matter to anyone that he'll be long dead before his lotto checks add up to that.

But wait, would you believe there are actually companies that do make "arrangements" with lottery winners to provide them with lump sums? Should this 51-year-old go that route he'd be left with a whopping $200,000 after taxes and "fees" from his original $1 mil. Oh yeah, that's a deal for ya. Still, not even close to what the hospital is requiring.

The winner, Wayne Schenk, says, "If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all." I tend to believe him.

See, your life isn't so bad now is it? You're welcome.

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