Tuesday, April 03, 2007

"I Snorted My Dad"

Bored? In need of some stimulation?

No problem, take a toke from Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richard's pipe and snort a relative. Yep, that's right. For completely unknown reasons he has just publicly stated that he snorted his dad's ashes. But hey, the ashes were mixed with cocaine so I guess that makes it OK??

Prose from Keith: “He was cremated, and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared,” he said, adding that “it went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.” Hmm, that's so unfortunate now that I know what a complete whack job you are, Keith.

At the other end of the news spectrum, have you heard the cry to beatify Pope John Paul II? He's been dead 2 years now and apparently many people think he should be declared a saint. Especially one nun who says he cured her Parkinson's disease. Uh huh. See, she had Parkinson's but then she prayed to Pope John Paul II and now she's cured. She says it's a miracle so he is deserving of sainthood. Hmm, do you think she's read "The Secret?"

Cool, so that's how it works. I guess I just need to pray to his holiness to have my husband stop making me attend boring dinners and events required by Asshat Corporation, have my numbers come up lucky in the lottery, and allow my dog to live forever while immediately "disappearing" my cats, and I'll lead the charge to declare his pontific papalness a saint, too.

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