Thursday, April 19, 2007

My Turn with Barbara Walters

The funnilicious (hey, if rap stars can make up words, I get to as well) Bob-Kat interviewed me. I'm sure it was hard for her to come up with questions since I tell you all everything anyway...

1: If you could trade places with a celebrity, which one and why?
George Clooney. Man is H-O-T, rich, funny, and loved by everyone.

2: You have been given a destructive superpower, what is it and who would be your first victim?
Ha! Dang now, this is just too easy. My destructive superpower would be the ability to mute people at will. I would even have a superhero remote with a special button I would get to press that would cause people to lose their voices mid-squawk. My first mutable would be a toss up between Donald Trump and Mel Gibson. Oooh wait, can I add Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.

3: If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
My ever present negativity.

4: Who would you make eat their words right now?
The NRA (National Rifle Association) in light of the recent murder of 32 innocent students and professors at Virgina Tech. There is simply no reason for anyone to own a semi-automatic handgun. You don't hunt with it and I don't buy the argument that it's needed for protection. That's bullshit. Show me the statistics that say homeowners successfully defend themselves against burglars with semi-automatic handguns. You can't, because they fucking don't. I do not for one second believe the authors of our Constitution intended guns to be bought and used in the number and manner that they currently are.

5: You meet an alien who has just landed on earth. How do you explain the concept of reality TV to him / her / it?
Reality TV shows are places where the Earth's most stupid people converge and see who can be the biggest asshat. Because we have so many stupid people on Earth, we have to have multiple reality TV shows.

If you would like ME to interview YOU, do the following:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

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