Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Sagittal Hair

Huh. Apparently that study I quoted yesterday that said excessive worrying takes 16 years off your life is a bunch of bunk because I'm still alive today.

Sagittal hair: The technical label for the trail of hair that leads from his abs down to his junk.

According to an Australian study (seriously, how do these wackass scientists get funding for these studies??), having sagittal hair increases your chances of collecting belly button lint.

The same study found that belly button lint is usually blue.

OK, how many of you just looked at your belly button lint?

Monday, July 02, 2007

Worrying

So, I read that excessive worrying takes 16 YEARS off your life.

Crap, I'll be dead by morning.

So what, we're just supposed to stop cold turkey? Come one! Worrying is my drug of choice. I CHOOSE to worry. I enjoy the drama it creates in my life. Well, not really. I just tell myself that to avoid having to change. Change = Bad karma. Worrying = Cool panic attacks.

I've been:

a) Traveling the globe participating in competitive eating competitions. I won.
b) In a coma. I'm awake, it's a miracle!
c) In D.C. protesting to any politician who would listen to pass a law banning publicizing noncelebrities who are famous for doing nothing other than having money.

Missed ya.